Let’s start with the life of a woman in her seventies. Name Namita Sanyal. The first 15 years of the marriage have been spent following the instructions of the husband and father-in-law. He left his job for his family. Made distance with own parents, friends. He could not be happy even after doing so many things. At one point he began to suffer from depression. Psychiatrists, with the help of psychologists gradually recover. Even after he did not quarrel. However, he has tried to express his opinion. The marriage is still intact. For 45 years, however, there has been no dispute over whether it is right to end a marriage without quarrels.
After listening to him, many people said that it would not have happened if they had quarreled. You have to fight from the beginning. Only then the marriage will be jamjamata! That will make both of you happy.
Shuvro Bandyopadhyay, a teacher in his forties, thinks that he is right. He said, “If you fight a little, your mind becomes light. There is no sorrow in one’s mind. But his colleague Sudeshna Dutta did not agree. According to him, quarrels cannot be good for any relationship. One or the other causes harm. Whether it is married or not!
But is it true? Is marital happiness at all important? There must be different views of different sages. But why do so many marital relationships break up due to ongoing quarrels? Is there a difference between ‘good fight’ and ‘bad fight’ in marriage? Whether that is the case or not, research has not diminished. But any relationship, such as personality, depends on marriage. If Setuku agrees, it seems that the pressure to fight can be a little less.
Psychologist Anuttama Bandyopadhyay thinks that it is important to see what the quarrel is about, what kind of quarrel it is, how it is being quarreled. In a word, to say that marital quarrel is urgent means to look at the matter very simply. “I do not believe that such a one-dimensional diagnosis can ever be effective in a relationship,” he said. But not through strife. Through dialogue. Anuttama said, “There is a danger of creating a place to disrespect each other in the quarrel. If it continues on a regular basis, the health of any relationship will not be good. ” The solution can be reached. That is, one said to the other, You can say that dialogue is necessary for marriage or any intimate relationship. But quarrels have a place to pierce each other. In the dialogue, ‘I am not good’, ‘why not good’, he comes up. And in the quarrel, ‘How much is your fault’, ‘I will not let you be good’ is the main thing.
Psychologist Devashila Basu thinks that it is a matter of thinking which dialogue to call argument and which to quarrel. While expressing some common likes and dislikes, there may be arguments in many cases. Again, it is easy to compromise. But dialogue can become difficult if the sense of life is different. Or if there is a difference of opinion on something very important. “I think a lot of people think marital discord is based on the idea that those who are involved in marital affairs value each other’s opinions,” she said. However, if there is a difference of opinion, it is not healthy for a relationship to constantly quarrel without understanding it.
Can’t even remember the words of psychologists. It may seem that what is wrong with such a long time. The habit of calling marital quarrels urgent has been around for a long time. This is not new. At one time there was even greater inequality in the importance of husband and wife’s views on marriage. There was less space to express like a wife.There was a hint of giving each other a chance to express their views. The situation has changed. That is why the meaning of the current marital quarrel has changed from the quarrel then. Isn’t it important to remember the importance of marital discord?